…against myself, the self sabotager.
I’ve learned that I don’t like the word no. I’m sure I am not the only one that doesn’t like it. Not only do I not like the word, I have trouble telling myself no.
No, you don’t need to buy that.
No, you have already spent enough.
No, you really need to skip fast food for lunch.
No, before you go to bed you need to wash dishes and clean up the kitchen.
In all of those, I know the no is better in the long run, I just don’t think in terms of the long run. I also realize it is a matter of self control, but I just have trouble standing up to myself when I talk myself in to ignoring the no.
I know that if I keep up with the cleaning daily that it makes things a lot easier to maintain, and yet I can so easily talk myself into putting things off for a day or two or a week.
I know that I can eat healthy, and that when I do and watch how much I eat I can lose weight. And yet, when it comes to lunch at work, I am often tempted to just give in and wasting money on some fattening, not very good lunch form some fast food place. You know the lunch where you are afraid to look up the calorie count, because it’s probably more than half the amount you should eat a day.
I know that when my car payment and credit card bill is coming due I can curb my spending because I have no option but to pay them. I also know that when those are taken care of, I have a bad habit of over spending when I get my next pay check.
I know these things about myself. I also understand things out there that help you not do these things, such as a daily check list for ‘chores’ or a food journal or a budget. Yet when it comes down to it all, I end up giving into myself instead of standing up and telling myself no.
I can’t even begin to express how annoyed and frustrated I am with myself right now that I just can’t seem to keep doing things I need to do. And to make it worse, I have no one but myself to blame. It’s all on me.
Now is the time to take a stand against myself and move on with my life in a manor that will be more beneficial for me in the long run. I will have days and moments when I will fail, fall of track or will simply ignore the all important no. Those days will happen. I just need to make sure that those days come fewer and fewer and that when they do happen I don’t let it derail me completely. I will need to get up, wipe the dirt off my ass and move forward from that point. I just have to keep telling myself that.
So I am here, once again, ready to muddle through it all.
The first thing I need to do is pull out that Daily/Weekly list I made for myself of things I want to do around the house on a daily and weekly schedule.
The second thing I need to do is pull out the Food Journal and list what I eat every day. I can still do this even if I am not closely counting my calories and at least be aware of how much I am actually eating.
The third thing I need to do is work out a budget, that works for me and that I can/will stick to it. This is the one that leaves me feeling lost. It should be easy for me since it is only me I have to be concerned with, but for some reason it isn’t, or I don’t let it be easy.
This is me standing up to myself and doing what I need to do!
Tonight’s To Do List:
Work through my daily checklist.
Do my veggie prep on the stuff I bought Saturday.
Do any additional food prep to help me stick to my menu plan.
Give the rest of the dining room furniture a good cleaning.